Letters to Jose Canseco by Lily Dawn
Lily Dawn has a strong relationship with Jose Canseco. Or it should be strong. Who could resist her many charms? Unfortunately Lily has edited out Jose Canseco’s responses to her many letters. At some point Lily might release those responses. To do that would require going through Jose Canseco’s lawyer, no easy task especially considering the subject material. Each letter brings her a little closer to Jose’s natural charm and good looks. Maybe hanging out with Jose Canseco is better than hanging out with junkies in Cleveland. It is hard to tell.
Food stamps are good stamps. Lily lives in a library watching people spill drinks. Typical libraries are filled with those neglectful beverage consumers. Nobody invites Lily out. Obviously those nitwits don’t realize how cool Lily Dawn really is. All those drugs fried their brains. Now she has heroin-addicted friend who aren’t ambitious enough. Heroin tends to ruin any hope for serious ambition. Instead it creates a weird scenario of numbness. Thanks to the food stamps she can avoid their numbness for a little while. Instead she can think the big thoughts, about turkey in McDonalds and people getting bored of porn. When one is bored of porn one is bored of life. Life is porn.
Dancing troubles away has been done for ages. Lily longs to dance. The desire to desire burns down to her deepest innermost molten magma core. Biscuits help her deal with the pain of a world without dancing. Cleveland to her is filled with shitheads. Unfortunately Lily fails to define the term ‘shithead’ properly. Suffice to say that a shithead is one whose mind is full of human excrement. While it is easy to mock shitheads it is easier to sympathize. Most people are fortunate enough to be born with functioning digestive systems. Poor shitheads have to defecate out their mouths through ‘speaking’. It is a sad life. At least Lily is able to properly digest and later excrete those biscuits. Shitheads dream of a world with shit.
Money comes down Lily’s merry way. She’s earning paper. Trees sacrificed in the name of commerce. It hurts a little for the trees but it hurts a lot for the environment. Unlike Jose, Lily plans on going out. Jose brushed his teeth. Jose is ready for bed. Poor Jose doesn’t realize all the fun things there are to do in Cleveland like that one thing…
Chips are consumed by Lily. By now the letters are shorter probably due to the size of Jose’s epic responses that will hopefully be released at a later date. Here is where Lily and Jose really connect as individuals. She wants to leave that heroin addicted zero and get with hero. By the very end Lily’s intestinal tract has been overrun by depression worms, the sorts of parasites that feed off of happiness. The joke is on the depression worms for Lily Dawn has no happiness left to consume. Lily lives in Cleveland.